Calling the Pet Mortuary...

Today it was very difficult getting myself to call the pet mortuary. I just kept pushing it out. But of course I knew I had to deal with it at some point. But as long as Daisy was lying in her bed I was almost fine. Of course every time I started to think about what had happened and that we hadn't gone out for a walk I kept tearing up. Rationally you do know that she is dead. But your mind can play evil tricks on you, giving you the impression that she is just asleep. And petting her coat felt as soft as it has always been. The only thing was that you were petting a cold dog.
By the late afternoon my heart finally had gotten the message, that Daisy was no longer with me. Once she really gets starting stiff, petting her no longer felt like petting my companion animal. It's more like petting a plush toy. So I jumped online an looked up pet mortuaries in Vienna. There are 3 companies and with one of them I felt most comfortable. And they did have a 24 hour pickup. So I gave them a call and they were going to send by a driver within in hour.
So this gives you time to say your final good byes. You don't realize how often you can say good bye to a companion animal and how often there are different thoughts in your mind. The driver arrived, took a look at her and was going to bring the pet coffin to my apartment. We put her in together and I realized that I was still supporting Daisy's back. Rationally thinking there is no point to that. She is stiff anyways and she doesn't feel any pain any more. But that's just something I had to do. I was glad that the driver asked me to help him carry Daisy to the car and not have her rolled away on a trolley. That way I put her in the car of the pet mortuary and finally let her go.

I then walked back to my apartment with the paperwork in hand and the office of the pet mortuary would call me on Tuesday regarding Daisy's funeral arrangements. When I got back to the apartment it really felt empty. When I looked at Daisy's empty doggy bed I still could see her indentations. Walking into the kitchen an thinking about cleaning her food bowl out, I just started tearing up again. I guess it will take several days until I'll be able to do that.
So I tried to distract myself a little. Checked a little on my FB timeline, but still don't have any clue what I was reading there. But it did calm me down and I was able to look at the homepage of the pet mortuary in more detail. And that did give me better idea what arrangements I wanted to have for Daisy. And no, they're not exactly cheap. But I want to have a decent funeral service for my companion animal.
Thinking about Daisy's last 6 month and certain songs immediately made me tear up. So I put my iPod away. Watched some DS9 instead. But it really didn't give me any joy. It must have been at that time, when I realized how empty this apartment is without Daisy. It's not that she has been doing much lately. Just her being there made all the difference. Now this apartment feels empty. It no longer feels like a home...a major component what made it a home is missing right now. This gonna be a quite difficult adjustment.