After having been Single for 3+ years there's a new and very special man in my life. When the whole thing started off I didn't think too much about it. And I really didn't expect it to go anywhere. But you know how it is. You do something or something and don't expect anything of it and suddenly it's starts going somewhere. If you guys are expecting a name...well then you've got it all wrong. Thtat's something that's not gonna happen, at least not at that point.
The thing is we do have a ton of things in common. We just think a the majority of topics just alike. We are both standing with both feet on the ground, both have a leveled head and have both been once through hell and back. Maybe that's on of the reasons why we do understand the other guys feeling so perfectly well. There is no need to explain tho the other guy what's it about...the other one knows exactly what you're talking about, even if you can't put your feeling in the clear words you want to put them in.
At first I just it was just a crush. That wouldn't have been the first time. But it usually wears off very quickly. But this time it was entirely different. And it was the beginning of something I so didn't expect. At first we had here and there a chat and we did get along very well with each other. But as time went on the chats got longer and the conversations grew deeper. That wouldn't have been that special. But it was the beginning of getting to know each other slowly and on a very personal level. We could talk about pretty much every subject, that you would cover while dating. But we also touched subjects that you don't touch that quickly. But with my special guy I felt safe, so that I could talk about any subject. And I started a couple of subjects that are not that easy to bring up when you're interested in a guy. But the need to be talked about. That's just the kind of person I am. And he's exactly the same way. With him the truth is absolutely the way to go. And that's absolutely amazing, considering the fact that there are tons of things you better never ever touch with your average gay man. But with my special guy that was no problem at all. I think that was the point when that special thing we had going on became somethin much more serious than I expected. Of course I know that this won't be an easy path, but guess it's true that the things that are hard are aboslutly worth fighting for.
As time went on our chats became way longer and way more frequent. Not just about certain topics, but also about every day life. And we both realized how much we had in common and how much we do think alike. Having common interests is definitely big plus. Having the similar ideas what constitutes a great weekend getaway is definitely helpful as well. And of course at some point to topic sex and preferences comes up. And it is a fun subject to talk about...at least as far as I'm concerned. And it was stunning to see how much we do have in common in that area as well. And expecially in that area we're definitely made for each other.
But that all isn't even half of it. As time and chats went on I did realize that there was happening a big change inside myself. It mad me totally happy seeing a text message from him hin the morining. This text always made my day much brighter. No text...not so much fun. I was looking forward to each and every chat. And it awakened feelings in me, that I didn't even know I was capable of anymore. At least I had thought those feelings would be a thing of the past. Something you remember fondly. But he made me feel almost like a Teenager. All the bád feelings about heart breaks are gone. Only the great feeling remains. It's the first time in a very, very long time that my Heart is once a again part of that special thing we have here. And it's just an amazing feeling. It's difficult to explain, but in the last 3 years all the guys I've been out with...well my heart was never really part of it. So it really takes a very special guy to be able to get my heart into that thinge we have. I know it might sound silly, but it feels like having butterflies in your stomach. And that hasn't happened a terribly long time to me. When I chat with him I'm on top of the world...and when he's not around and I'm by myself...well I don't feel exactly sad, but something very important is definitely missing. And yes, just talking to my guy awakens feelings that I only remember from the time when I was 18 or 19. Just saying that much it makes my skin that slight ticklish feeling. And we do both feel the same way. It's almost as if we had been looking for each other for a long time, and finally found each other. So Yes, I do feel absolutely AWESOME!!
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