The XMAS-Day Disaster

Well that title pretty much says it all and there is just no way to make that anything else but an entire disaster. On the other hand it's not that unusual. Thinking back it has always been that way, as long as I can think. Christmas in this family has always been a very stressful time and on one of the XMAS holidays it always ends in a yelling and screaming match. The dynamic is always the same. It's an argument about something (it really doesn't matter what it is), no compromise to my Dad's liking can be found right away, and once 1 party runs out of arguments the underhanded, personal attacks and the yelling match starts...and usually my Dad is the one who starts with the personal attacks and with the yelling.
So far that's nothing really new and it pretty much has always been that way. But something just felt different this time, things just seem to get worse. And then there of course is Daisy and she's a very good indicator for negative energy...as she can't stand it. I was watching her she was pacing from one place to the next and made sure to avoid my Dad at all costs. As soon there were only 2 or 3 steps between him and her, she tried to find a new spot further away from him. In case that wasn't possible she pressed her butt against my legs and looked to me for protection. I guess seeing my dog that uncomfortable made a huge impact on me.
Later that day I was talking to one of my friends online and I answered his question how was your Christmas with: "Let me put it that way, I don't think that the Spanish Inquisition could have been much more painful than this Christmas". That sentence is exactly what got a lot of things rolling.
It suddenly occurred to me, that this is a terrible thing to say. Furthermore it is a terrible place to spend your holidays and free time. On top of that I really don't want to have to wake up my dog 7 times during one night, because she's having nightmares. I haven't had to deal with a negative family dynamic like that for the past 8 years, and that's one of the reason why it felt so terrible. In those 8 years I've learned that there is another way to treat each other during family events.
There is something positive about that entire incident as well: It really forced me to make a decision. I made a clear cut decision on Christmas Day. I am not going to play that game anymore. I made it quite clear, that I won't be attending any family events if my Dad is part of the group as well. I refuse to deal with that negativity.
Being a gay man is here quite helpful. From the time of my Coming Out I've learned that we gay man choose our families. Some of those people we're related to, others are our friends and we come to think of them as family. Some come temporarily into our life as family and fade away later on, while others come to stay. And of course there are those parts of our families who we choose to exclude from m our lives, because they're just too exhausting and draining. Apparently my Dad belongs to the latest category!
I'm not quite sure where I will be spending Christmas 2012. Spending XMAS with my dog on long distance hiking trail in southern Europe, where the weather is way more comfy than in Austria, sounds like a fun thing to do. Another idea would be renting a remote cabin in the mountains and spending XMAS there. Just me and the dog!! I might consider letting a few people come along as long as they bring lots of positive energy, are laid back and fun to be around with!