Apollo 18

Today I finally got around to watching Apollo 18. Well I didn't read any of the reviews on purpose. Hadn't heard anything positive or negative either...and that's something that rarely happens. In retrospect I wish I had read those reviews before.
If you have no clue what I'm talking about, here is the synopsis of 'Apollo 18'.
Holy crap...where do I start? Well by the time the movie had ended I was happy about 1 thing...that the movie had finally ended. That was definitely a major relief! It was one of the absolute worst movies that I have seen in a very long time. On the positive side I only wasted 86 minutes!
This is one of the slowest and most boring movies I have ever seen. The characters are dull, boring and lifeless. Nobody found it worthwhile to spend even a little time to develop the characters. I can live with characters that I don't like. I never even got the chance to either like or dislike the characters, I just didn't care for them. If something bad or good happened to them it would have been of no importance.
The story really doesn't go anywhere. It moves around in circles for 86 minutes and by the time the movie ends no story has been told. You could have taken the storyline on so many different directions or shed light on it in so many different angles, but nothing of at kind ever happens. Once the movie is over you're left with the question what the point of the entire story was to begin with.
The dialogue isn't any better than the the storyline. It's dull, boring and uninteresting. Those characters have not a single interesting line. In 86 minutes that's certainly an accomplishment! Even with the the dull dialogue, giving the characters a little personality would have improved this movie immensely.
The only slightly positive feel about the movie is the static camera work and the way the surface of the moon looks like. The wannabe SFX are a bad joke and by saying so I'm trying to be nice. They're trying to do a handy cam style. That's all well and good, but it's way too much. It's too grainy, it's way too jumpy, quite distracting and annoying! Less of the handy cam style would have improved the movie!
If a were to write a recipe for that disastrous movie it probably sound something like that: Take 80 minutes of story that goes nowhere, add some dull and lifeless characters, add boring dialogue really bad SFX, season with a little 'Alien' and 'Paranormal Activity' and in the end sprinkle some Stanley Kubrick over it and hope that something remotely tolerable emerges.
By the time the movie was over I was relieved it had finally ended. I was thinking that I haven't seen anything that bad in a very long time. Even cheesy Saturday SyFy movies are way better than this movie. How anyone could believe that a movie this bad belongs in a movie theatre is beyond my comprehension. I came very close to shut the movie of on several occasions. Luckily I watched it as a torrent. If I had seen that in a movie theatre I would have been pissed that I spent 10+ bucks on a movie like that and I might have even walked out. In order for that to happen a movie has to be exceptionally bad!! On a scale of 1 to 5, with 1 being the worst and 5 being the best, I would have to give it a -5!!
Definitely a absolute DISLIKE!!