Core Identity

Recently I found myself confronted with the question "What's left once you've sacrificed your core identity?".

I'm not quite sure what exactly triggered it, but that would be beside the point. I found myself thinking about the "Venediger Gruppe". The result of that was nothing short of a shock treatment.

I used to go hiking there a lot. You might even call me someone who used to be someone of an expert regarding that mountain group! I used to be able to name every single mountain top. I used to be able to name every single glacier and sub-glacier. I used to be able to name every single trail by name. Of more than 90% of the trails I even knew the average hiking time. I used to be able to name all the mountain huts in that particular mountain group.

Now I barely can get the major mountain tops together. I didn't even try my luck with the glaciers, trail names and average hiking times. That by itself would have been absolutely terrible. But the worst thing was still to come. That happened when I only could name about 2/3's of the mountain huts. That was a pure shock treatment for me.

Most people most likely won't get the issue that's at hand here. For me that's way more than forgetting certain things. This is a symptom that I've started to compromise and sacrifice my core identity.

Fact is that I'm an mountaineer at the core. That's what I am. Fact is that thinking about that particular mountain group used to make me happy. For me it is a place where I feel truly at home and can experience true peace. Forgetting about major parts of that mountain group, tells me that my core identity has definitely been compromised... and I really don't like that idea at all!! In the past few years I have been making so many compromises and so many sacrifices that I don't even really know who I am anymore. A different kind of persona has emerged you might say. When I look at that I not only absolutely dislike it but it almost makes me wanna throw up!!!

That got me thinking about "what's left once you've sacrificed your core identity?".

The answer to that question is quite sobering. Well you do still exist after having sacrificed your core identity. But I would hardly call that a life. You do exist... but that's pretty much it. Without your core identity you are nothing more than a empty, superficial shell with no soul. If such a life is worth living, well that's something that everyone has to figure out for themselves. If I had to sacrifice my core identity in order to keep the status Q alive, well then I would rather take a gun and shoot myself!! That's a life absolutely not worth living, as far as I'm concerned!!